Whats on my mind? here it is.
1st thing on my mind:
Sometimes, I get jealous thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could..
I guess it’s my insecurities acting up.
Because I know I'm not the prettiest, smartest, or most fun and exciting girl in your eyes.
But, I do know that no matter how had and long you look; you’ll never find somebody that loves you like I do.
2nd thing on my mind:
It’s about time I told you everything that’s on my mind…
You, how much I hate you, how much I wish I never knew you, how much I hope every day that I can somehow get over you or even just get you off my mind for one second. I loved you, I gave you everything.
I had to give and that still wasn’t good enough. So, fuck you, fuck how much I hate you, fuck knowing you, fuck getting over you, fuck getting you off my mind, fuck loving you. Because somewhere amongst the other 5 billion people in this world, there’ll be somebody waiting for a person like me, a person that was too good for you anyway.
3rd thing on my mind:
You told me you love me. You hugged me without any reason. Whenever you couldn’t sleep for some reason, you called me just to tell me you loved me. What happened! Now when you see me you don’t even look at me. Now my love has turned into hate. I hate you for breaking my heart. I hate myself for falling in love with you. I hate myself for letting you break my heart. I hate you for ignoring me, but I don’t want you to call me sweet names and tell me you love me again. I’ve gotten far since then. And even a look from you would send me right back to the start. You know what? You are a dick. I don’t wanna hate anymore. The only one broken because of my hate, Is me. Hate has destroyed me even more than seeing you with that new girl of yours. I don’t care anymore. Seconds have turned into minutes. Minutes have become hours. Hours have turned into days, which have become months. And when I think of that I start to love again. And inside you are breaking my heart all over again. And then I start to hate again. And then I stop to hate, and start to think and so on. And one day, I hope you tell me what you feel. And hopefully, it is that you have always loved me….